


Hold On, I Still Need You

by Lexys23



Category: Fifth Harmony (Band)
Genre: F/F, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-28
Updated: 2018-06-28
Packaged: 2019-07-05 17:40:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15868530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lexys23/pseuds/Lexys23
Summary: Camila wished it didn't happen. Camila wished she could change it.  But it did happen. And all she could do is wish for her to hold on. Because she would always need her.





	Hold On, I Still Need You

It had been four amazing years. It was something that Camila would always remember. Sure, there were their ups and downs. But Lauren was the one to ask her out. The girl was so nervous, and so adorable. Camila had a small crush on the girl when she told her that she liked the shirt the green-eyed girl was wearing that first day.

_Loving and fighting_  
_Accusing, denying_

Lauren and Camila had their fights. They had their moments where they would scream at each other. But they also had their moments where they were the only people in the world.

Lauren wrapped her arms around Camila. She gently kissed her cheek, as Camila giggled. The girl leaned back against her girlfriend.

"I love you," Lauren whispered, nuzzling her cheek.

"Aren't you affectionate," Camila responded, turning around to look at her girlfriend.

Lauren just smiled, her eyes twinkling. "You make it easy to love you."

Camila pressed her lips against the girl. She just laughed. "I love you too. You make my whole world complete.

-

"Why don't you just date him?" Lauren shouted, tears in her eyes.

Camila shook her head. "You're so stupid. I love you, not him."

Lauren glared. "Doesn't feel like it. You bail on me to hang out with him. How am I supposed to know?"

Camila sighed. "Lauren, I love you, not him. I wouldn't do that to you."

Lauren panted, as she stared at Camila. She shook her head and stormed out. Camila closed her eyes, letting her breath out.

-

Camila was in her bunk. The tour bus was empty. She heard the door open and footsteps getting closer. She closed her eyes, just thinking it was one of the other girls.

Her curtain was pulled to the other side. She looked over to see a pair of sad green eyes.

"I'm sorry." Lauren extended her hands, flowers in them. "I-I get jealous. I-I feeling l-like one day you'll find someone better. And I get scared."

"There is no one better than you Lauren. No one."

Camila moved in her bunk to let Lauren lay down with her. Camila wrapped her arms around the older girl's. She inhaled, taking in the scent of her girlfriend.

"I'm sorry," Lauren whispered, holding onto the hand that was on her stomach.

"It's okay. Don't forget that I love you, okay?"

_I can't imagine a world with you gone_  
_The joy and the chaos, the demons we're made of_  
_I'd be so lost if you left me alone_

Camila stared at the girl. Her eyes wide, tears welling up in them. "What?"

"You could have any of the other girls! I'm not like them! Ally is nice! And I'm a bitch. Dinah is fun and outgoing! And I'm not. I'm on my phone most of the time! Normani is confident and can dance! I'm not. Why me? I'm not great!"

Camila shook her head. The tears begging to fall. "But I love you."

Lauren's eyes watered. "I love you too. But I feel like this is temporary. Until something better comes along."

"Nothing better will ever come along."

"Cam—"

The tears slipping, creating tracks on her face. " _No_. You are my girlfriend.  _You_  are the one I chose.  _You_  are the one I love.  _You_ are the one I want.  _You_  are the one I think of every day.  _You_  are the one I can't live without."

"You can," Lauren whispered, her tears slipping out of her eyes.

"No! I can't.  _Don't_ talk like that Lauren. You don't know how I think about you. You don't know what I feel. You don't know how my heart flutters when I look at you. You don't know how I can't think straight when you're around. You don't know, Lauren."

Lauren broke down. She crumbled onto the ground, tears streaming down her face.

Camila rushed to pull the girl into her arms. "I love you Lauren. You are my heart. I just wish you could see the wonderful girl you are. I wish I could make you better."

Lauren sighed. "I love you Camz. I love you."

Camila smiled as she rubbed her girlfriend's arm. She hoped for the better.

_You locked yourself in the bathroom_

Camila looked at the watch. It had been ten minutes since Lauren went to the restroom. She smiled. Things were looking okay between the two. Lauren had been smiling more. She seemed happier. She hadn't had a break down in some time.

Camila turned the television off. She stood up and prepared for bed. She suddenly stopped. The water wasn't running. It was quiet in the room. It was too quiet. She turned and headed to the restroom.

"Lauren?" she whispered, knocking on the door.

No answer.

"Lauren? Please open the door."

No answer.

"Lauren!" She started to bang on the door. She turned the doorknob. It was locked. "Lauren!"

Camila ran out the room. She screamed for help. The other occupants on the floor exited the room, including her friends.

She looked at the first guy to exited and asked for his help.

_Lying on the floor when I break through_

She took him to her room and asked him to break the door down. It takes him a while, but he is able to break it down. Camila pushes him aside and runs inside.

She freezes, a sob escaping her mouth.

Lauren was there.

Lauren was on the ground.

Lauren was unconscious.

Lauren was bleeding.

Lauren had cut herself.

_I pull you in to feel your heartbeat_

Camila ran to her. She pressed her palm against Lauren's chest, feeling the slow beating of her heart.

Camila looked up at the group of people at the door. "Don't just stand there! Someone call for help!"

She heard people taking their phones out calling for help. She heard someone rush into the bathroom and search through the cabinets. She felt someone kneel down next to her and wrap Lauren's wrists with towels.

_Can you hear me screaming, "Please don't leave me"_

"Lauren? Wake up baby," Camila whispered, tucking a stand of hair behind her ear. "Lo? Please."

Camila cradled the girl. " _Please don't leave me._ "

Camila started to rock her body, rubbing the girl. She felt cold. Camila wanted to warm her up. "Please. Wake up."

"They said they will be here soon," she heard someone say. Camila nodded numbly.

_Hold on, I still want you_  
_Come back, I still need you_

" _Hold on,_ " Camila whispered, rubbing her cheek against the girl's head. " _I still want you_. Lauren, please."

Camila could hear sobs from around her. She paid them no attention. The only person who had her attention was the girl in her arms.

" _Come back_ to me, please.  _I still need you_."

_Let me take your hand, I'll make it right_  
_I swear to love you all my life_

"Please Lauren." Camila reached over and grabbed Lauren's hand. "We have forever. I want to love you forever."

_Hold on, I still need you_

Camila released her hand. " _Hold on_  baby. Please. I need you."

_A long endless highway, you're silent beside me_  
_Drivin' a nightmare I can't escape from_  
_Helplessly praying, the light isn't fadin'_  
_Hiding the shock and the chill in my bones_

Numb. That was what she felt. She held Lauren's hand as she stared at the girl. The paramedic was working on her in the back of the ambulance. Camila could just stare. She felt nothing.

Numb. It was the only thing keeping her from breaking down. She couldn't let go. It could easily be the last time she could touch the girl.

Numb. That was what was all. Just numb as they drove to the hospital. She could hear faint words, but nothing came through to her. All she could do was stare at her girlfriend who was dying.

Numb, because she was dying.

_They took you away on a table_  
_I pace back and forth as you lay still_  
_They pull you in to feel your heartbeat_

Lauren was taken away the second they stopped. People rushed to take her away. Camila could do nothing. She just followed behind, hands still connected. Camila tightened her hold until she couldn't anymore.

She stayed close until she was ordered to stay behind.

She paced back and forth. Her heart beat against her chest. She could hear the beeping around her. She could hear everything around her, but she heard nothing at all. All she could think of was Lauren.

_Can you hear me screaming, "Please don't leave me"_

Everything suddenly hit her. It hit her. She felt her own heart stop, as she stumbled back against wall. Her body trembled. She felt someone grab her and hold her.

"She can't leave me," she cried, gripping the person. She felt them wrap their arm against her. They gently rubbed their back. "She can't."

Camila closed her eyes. " _Please don't leave me_."

_Hold on, I will want you_  
_Come back, I still need you_

Lauren laughed as she kissed Camila. They had spent their first Christmas as a couple. Camila had never seen her look so happy before.

Camila smiled. She had given her a set of new beanies. Lauren had given her a set of bows.

"I love them."

Camila grinned and kissed her back.

-

Camila looked at the door the doctors took Lauren through.

" _Hold on_  for me," Camila whispered, her heart feeling heavy.

She looked down at the cup of coffee in her hands. She looked to the sides, to see her band mates asleep next to her.

They had been there, waiting with her. They hadn't left. Camila couldn't sleep. She couldn't.

" _Come back_  to me," she said, staring into the cup. She then looked back up. " _I still need you_."

_Let me take your hand, I'll make it right_  
_I swear to love you all my life_

Lauren looked down at their connected hands. They both stared at each other. Camila looked out to the beach.

"I love you, you know that, right?"

Camila looked over. She could stare into her girlfriend's green eyes. She stared at the twinkle. She stared at the shine in them.

"I know. I love you too."

"I'm gonna marry you one day," Lauren said, turning her attention to the beach.

Camila grinned. "Yeah? And why is that?"

"Because I want to love you for the rest of my life. I can't live without you, you know that, right?"

Camila reached over and kissed her. Lauren pulled her so Camila was over her. Camila laughed against the kiss when Lauren turned them again.

_Hold on, I still need you_

Camila looked at the door. " _Hold on_  Lauren, I need you."

_I don't wanna let go_  
_I know I'm not that strong_

Lauren held her close as Camila flinched. They were in a haunted house, and Camila was deadly afraid of clowns. Lauren had wrapped her arms around Camila, so the younger girl was in front of her.

"I'm sorry," Camila whispered when they were in a dark spot of the haunted house.

Lauren turned her so they were facing each other. "For what?"

" _I know I'm not that strong_ ," Camila said, looking up at Lauren.

Lauren shrugged, a grin on her face. "It's okay, I can be strong for both of us."

Camila smiled. She leaned up and kissed the older girl.

A guy in a clown costume popped up, scaring one girl and getting punched by the other.

-

Camila blinked a few times, feeling tired. "I'll be strong for both of us," she whispered, staring at the clock. "I'll be strong.

_I just wanna hear you_  
_Saying baby, let's go home_  
_Let's go home_

Camila opened her eyes, to see Lauren standing in front of her. The girl smiled, as she extended her hand for Camila to take.

"Lo?"

Lauren's smile grew bigger. "Hallo."

Camila grabbed her hand and stood up. Lauren leaned down and pressed her lips against the shorter girl.

" _Let's go home_ ," Lauren whispered against her lips.

Camila grinned, tightening her hand. She felt Lauren pull her towards the door. Camila giggled as she let her girlfriend lead her away.

_Yeah, I just wanna take you home_

Camila shot up. She looked around for Lauren, before realizing it was all a dream. She was still in the hospital. Camila felt herself tremble as new tears slipped out of her eyes.

Camila looked at the clock, seeing that it was just a few hours since arriving. She rubbed her face. She hugged her own body, remembering the dream.

" _I just wanna take you home_ ," Camila whispered to nothing, her eyes on the ground. She curled up and cried.

_Hold on, I will want you_

Lauren looked at Camila and smiled. "You know, we've been friends for a while and all. But I, I like you."

Camila raised an eyebrow. "I like you too."

Lauren sighed and shook her head. "Not like that. I  _like_  you."

"What are you saying?"

"I  _like_  you Camz. I  _like_  you a lot. And I'd  _like_  to go out with you. On like, a date, if you want. You can say no if you want. There is no pressure," Lauren muttered, staring at the ground.

Camila grinned. She could see that Lauren was nervous. Camila reached over and grabbed Camila's hand. "I'd like too."

Lauren looked up, her eyes wide. "Wh-what?"

"I'd like to go out on a date with you," Camila told her, staring into the green eyes.

A smile appeared on Lauren's face, as a twinkle started to grow. Camila knew then and there, that it was going to be something special.

-

Camila watched as the door opened. She saw someone look around the room. She made eye contact with the doctor. She stood up, waking the other girls up.

She took a few steps towards the doctor, unable to read his expression. She couldn't tell if it was good or not.

Camila felt numb. She felt numb, as she waited to find out what happened with Lauren.

There was only one thing in her head. One thought. She looked up at the doctor with only one thing in her head.

_Come back, I still need you_

The End.

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to leave it open, the ending. You guys decide what happens next. I want to leave it there. I hope you guys don't get mad or anything. But this was the plan when I started writing it.


End file.
